Isaac and I don’t claim to have the worlds most perfect relationship, and to be honest I wouldn’t be too sure I knew what that even looked like. But I feel pretty confident in saying we are up there with some of the best.
We’ve been told by countless people how ‘perfect’ we are together. Externally I guess we come across like we’ve got the whole package; we’ve both got steady jobs with good income, we look after ourselves mentally and physically, we’ve got some nice clothes, nice cars and a pretty awesome roof over our heads. PLUS we’ve just bought our first home together, and obviously we’ve got some damn cute fuzzy children. Yup, if that’s what is considered perfect then we are doing aaaaaaaaaaalright.
In all honesty while we both do enjoy having nice things, we’ve worked our way up to those things, starting with the el cheapo version and building from there. And same goes for our relationship; I can’t speak for Isaac, but I know that before him I had not dated any guy who hadn’t cheated on me repeatedly. I started at the bottom (unintentionally) and traded up, from there. Because of this, I have a deep, deep appreciation for the way Isaac treats me. He is such a gentleman. He is kind, he opens the car door for me, he messages my family on their birthday, he treats me to dates (the outing, not the fruit), he treasures our fur children and he will drop everything to help a friend or loved one. Potentially most importantly of all, he understands my anxiety. I cannot put into words how damn amazing he is, but I’ll give it a red-hot crack for the rest of our lives – that I promise.
If he were sitting here with me, he’d be embarrassed that I’d written that. In fact he probably is regardless (sorry, not sorry darl), but he’d also compete with me and tell me how lucky HE is. And that is where I think we get it right. We appreciate every single thing the other does. Even if they do it all the time, and it has become ‘their’ thing, we thank each other for it. For example, Isaac is a keen vacuumer. There are days where he will vacuum more than once, because he just can’t stand a dirty floor. This is great because I actually HATED vacuuming up until very recently when we stepped into the world of Dyson Stick Vacs (and we will never go back!!), so I do vacuum sometimes now. But otherwise, this is his thing. And even though he does it all the time and it’d be weird if he didn’t, I thank him for it. Because if he didn’t do it, the floor would be feral & covered in a husky-fur-rug OR I’d have to do it.
We compliment each other quite often. If one of us has been working really hard to train or eat better, then we tell the other when the results are starting to show. It means a damn lot to know that it’s noticeable, I think we can all agree to that. I also love when Isaac puts together his own outfits when we are going out somewhere nice, for some reason I find it adorable, so I usually spend the whole night telling him how cute he is. We have both recently gone through courses, with Isaac finishing his trade officially last year and I finished my Pilates certification. During both processes we both helped each other as much as we could whether it was encouraging them, calming them down before assessments, making them something to eat, or just leaving them alone to study. I think in this instance I can speak for Isaac and say we both show how proud we are of each other, not just to each other, but to our family and friends when they ask how everything is going and we are being too modest about it.
It goes without saying that we don’t agree on everything; most recently I got a bit frustrated because Isaac is currently away on a course and he’s already talking about having to go away again within a month of getting back. It’s not as if it’s his fault and clearly I realise that, but after we got off the phone I realised that I wasn’t very supportive in our conversation so I ended up calling him back to explain why I reacted the way I did, and apologising. He’s just the same, if he realises that he hasn’t been very supportive with something he has said then he will acknowledge it and apologise. I think it’s also super important that we call each other out when the other is being a jerk, it serves as a reminder to be mindful of how you respect, respond and communicate with the people you love.
I thought I’d share this not because I want to rub it in your face how happy we are, but because having a healthy relationship used to feel so illusive. I just want you to know that it’s possible to have this, remember the liars & the cheats that I copped? They don’t mean that I’m any less deserving of what I have now. And I sure as heck didn’t deserve what I was copping when I was with them. Mine & Isaac’s relationship is nothing short of paying attention to each other and loving each other endlessly. We respect each other, I guess it is as simple as that.
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